NM and EF,
You asked at the end of our meeting in my counselor's office several weeks ago: "How do we move forward?"
Here's your answer - we don't.
Don't contact me, don't contact my daughters and DH has asked that you not contact him again either, ever, for any reason, in any way, shape or form. There are no longer any conceivable circumstances under which it will be appropriate for you to contact us. Once more, to be clear: do not contact us, ever again, for any reason.
You're monsters.
Goodbye.
Vanci
I am so glad that you are taking the most healthy direction for yourself and your family. You're free!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! :D Bust out of there...what HELL your N parents created for you!!! :( And all while pretending they are God fearing people! Extremely abusive "parents"...kick them to the curb.
ReplyDeleteAbusing your DD...I'm ENRAGED by this horror perpetrated on YOU and YOUR DD!!!!!!! I hope DD can rise up and use the court system to strike your evil NF down and send him off to the penitentiary where he should have been rotting for years for abusing YOU. :( :(
Hey, BTW, I'm a P.K., too. Extra tough, WEIRD shit...abuse at home, forced to listen to preacher dad lie from the pulpit 3 times a week for years...sound familiar??!
Hear you on the constant moving...another form of child abuse! I was forced to move about every 1 1/2 to 2 yrs...my folks were missionaries before going into the pastorate, so we went off to a foreign country and back to U.S. twice...bilingual stress...lost all my friends over and over.
In a N-ut shell, my father thinks HE'S God and my mother plays along.
This year, I finally gave myself permission to stop going to church at all. Too triggering! I'm a Christian, since I was 8..."in spite of" my parents, not because of them!! I detest what they've done to our family...while paying lip service to God.
I'm 2 yrs No Contact with my NF and EM as of yesterday:) Very stressful 2 yrs, but easing up noticeably since I stopped attending church buildings and got my own dog:D
I'm also 2 yrs into Extreme LC with my older GCB...ie. Hallmark Relationship. He's NF's extension and vicious pitbull (not slamming all the lovely dogs!).
Sadly, my younger SGB, NSIL and 4 kids are slipping away from me, since I cut off the folks:( Contact now consists of me sending the kids Bday cards with a small check and the whole family a Christmas package.
It's all very painful for me...I never could have imagined that my NF, EM and GCB were THIS messed up in the head, and that I'd also lose my 50 yr old brother to all their distorted reality and remaking of history.
I haven't even met my youngest, almost 2 yr old, nephew, because visiting 6 hrs away in his home would sick my parents on me in a flash. I'm crushed by this whole nightmare:(
Anyway, I FEEL your pain. It sucks sooo much. Please keep blogging:D
Anon ~ Thank you! It's good to be free. :)
ReplyDeleteJasmine ~ I'll never forget my first meeting with the lady who helped me to get sober. I told her that I was both an Army brat and a PK, and she nodded her head and said so sweetly, "Oh, honey. We're broken people. We get a lot of you!"
Congratulations on your two years of FREEDOM! I would be LC with my NSis and GCBrother, but they cut me off in their twisted desire to protect the abusers. In a way, I'm glad; it would have been such a painful slow death otherwise.
I hear you on the religion thing. I'd bet there are a lot of narcs out there who gravitate toward leadership positions in churches. That's not a slam against religion or churches, BTW, I'm only pointing out that power-seeking people like narcs look for positions that allow them to be the ultimate authority over others, and in the denomination I grew up in, that's what the pastor was; the Voice of God.
Anyway, good for you for getting out. I'm sorry for the sad, especially the loss of nieces and nephews.
Thanks for your comments, Jasmine! I will definitely keep blogging.
Love,
Vanci
Thanks Vanci:) BTW, my NF (always in my head, grrr) just told me he IS God, to hell with only being the voice of God (insert eye roll).
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend:D
I've been a little behind on my reading, Vanci. I stopped by and read this when you posted it, but couldn't find much time to comment on all my favorite blogs.
ReplyDeleteI'll be back tonight.
I loved, loved, loved this version of your NC letter.
I really think this is great. Heartbreaking, of course. But amazing. I think it takes amazing courage to write something like this (or even the last one, although I still think that one just left you too exposed) and is a testament to your strength of character.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Vanci.
Hmmm...tempted to copy and paste!
ReplyDeleteJonsi - thank you for your feedback and support!
ReplyDeletemulderfan - feel free to copy/paste/revise/change anything you'd like. Mi NC letter es su NC letter!:)
Love,
Vanci