I have a two-fold desire that drives me to visit and hang out in blogland.
First, I want to tell my story and talk about who I am, what I've been through and what I go through now. I want to write about recovery from Narcs and all of the steps I have taken, do take and will take on my path of healing.
Second, I want to read what you have to say about your recovery and your experiences, to learn from you and to give you an audience and to be part of something that I think is a wonderful healing tool.
I sort of think of it like a two way street, with traffic headed in both directions. I try to go to every post by readers on my reading list, I try to follow back the URLs that refer to me in my stats and I click through on my 'followers' icons to get to your posts and look at what you have to say because I am interested in what you have to say. I value your voices.
I keep my blog public because I'm an open and giving person and I don't have anything to hide. If you choose to keep yours private, that's fine with me. But if you've followed me and I've followed you and you happen to be one or two of the people embroiled in the recent argument that has just been talked to fucking death, and the end result or decision that you've made is to make your blog private and NOT invite me to it, great. I'm fine with your decision to do so, and I wish you all the best, truly, I hope that you find what you need to, learn what you need to and heal how you need to. I'm not so pompous as to think that I need to be a part of your life if you have chosen not to have me in it. I'm happy for you that you're making decisions based on what you need.
I'd like to make a small point, though. I don't really care if you see my shit posted here - that's why it's public and that's why I don't moderate comments, even to protect my anonymity. Anybody can see what I put out here. If you're going to act like this, though, if you're going to decide that I am somehow the enemy or on the other side of an argument that you've created, to the point that you're privatizing your blog and not inviting me, then un-fucking follow me. I find it creepy that your icons are still there.
I'm posting this here because I have no other way to get through to you unless you invite me to, and frankly, homey don't play that.
Love,
Vanci
Sorry Vanci, It was only technical ineptitude on my part, it really was. The last thing I want is to be where i'm not wanted. Whenever I try to protect myself, it only seems to end up hurting or offending other people.
ReplyDeleteI did not mean to be creepy or encroach on your own or any other bloggers boundaries,I will undo the following process as soon as possible. I wouldn't know how to invite someone to a blog anyway.
Hi Elena!
DeleteYou damn East Coasters sure do have a jump on me in the morning! :)
I actually had three bloggers that I follow or who followed me go private yesterday and not invite me, one of whom was you.
I posted this because I think that - actually, I know - one of them at least was intended to be commentary in the manner of "I'm just gonna take my ball and go home then!"
If you want to have a private blog to protect yourself, I certainly support you in that but I do hope that you will invite me as I truly enjoy your voice.
If not, that's okay too.
Love,
Vanci
Geez, I didn't think Vanci was talking about Elena.
ReplyDeleteI should've written "don't" rather than "didn't".
ReplyDeleteAnd apologies if I'm wrong. :-/
vi,
DeleteSee above to Elena.
I'm glad to know that it wasn't some big damn conspiracy, though. ;)
Love,
Vanci
I love the way you can process that in the way you have, to say "I'm not so pompous as to think that I need to be a part of your life if you have chosen not to have me in it. I'm happy for you that you're making decisions based on what you need."
ReplyDeleteIt offers me a different perspective on the usual fears that I will succumb to of "why don't they like me?" Yadda yadda. So thank you, I'm going to try to use this as a response to my internal voice of unreason. :)
DM,
DeleteI'm glad if I can offer perspective. I've reached the point where I've had a lot of practice at just not caring if people like me or not, I guess. :) I'm pretty satisfied if *I* can like me, and the miracle has been that on most days, I can.
Love,
Vanci
I too, did not think of Elena K. when reading this post.
ReplyDeleteVanci, my dear, you have just provided me with one part of the answer to a question I found myself pondering this morning. Thanks, as always, for your honesty.
Jonsi,
DeleteI'm so glad that I helped you answer a question, and I am so glad that I have this place that I can come to and be honest. And meet other honest people too, like you!
Love,
Vanci
HAHA!: silly ass wabbit trix are for kids
ReplyDeleteThat's probably the best and most appropriate label I've ever ever seen. Ever.
I'm picking up what you're putting down.
"I love you I love you I love you
ReplyDeleteAnd where you go I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow
I will follow you!
Follow you wherever you may go!
There isn't an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high it can keep,
Keep me awaaaay!"
Gladys,
DeleteWhen my DD's were little, like 4 and 6, somebody showed them the movie "Sister Act." They watched it all the time. And that movie has this song in it...
Sung by Whoopie Goldberg...
Dressed up in a nun habit...
Singing and swinging her ass...
While directing her misfit collection of real nuns also dressed in their habits...
Singing back up vocals...
Oh. The Horror.
So, take heart. In addition to being my little stalker poo this AM, you've firmly embedded THAT scene in my head for the rest of the day. You win.
Love,
Vanci
Let's see what tune you're singing after Frankenstorm buffets yo'hiney.
Delete^ Me too. Gladys just sings it better than I do! AND does the tambourine better as well ;) I didn't realize Privatization had been vested upon us and likewise, Elena K, you'd also be my last thought here as well-no offense, but in this situation I don't think it has a thing to do with you either, FWIW.
ReplyDeleteThere's been a proliferation of new Blogs so there's still plenty of good ones out here in any event, and Vanci, IMO, your's is one of my favorites. Have I said thanks lately? No? Well, MANY THANKS, Ms. Vanci!
TW
TW,
DeleteThank you so much for being such a strong voice of reason (betcha never saw that coming, eh?) and for being such a good friend.
You're one of my favorites, too, so many thanks right back at you!
Love,
Vanci
me three!
ReplyDeleteupsi,
DeleteMuah!
Love,
Vanci
I was going to post something but I see we are down to air kisses.
ReplyDeleteMuah!
Muah!
Q,
DeleteNo air kisses for you! You get a big ole sloppy lip smack on the cheek; KERSWAK!
No, not that cheek, you skeev! Ugh...
Love,
Vanci
I did not realize either that blogs were made private. Thanks for calling this to my attention. I doubt I was personally axed out, or maybe I was, but it definitely feels like a divisive move on some people's part. I wonder if by not taking sides, I took a side? Oh, well.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if someone (like Elena) feels they needed to take their blog private for ANY reason, and they are interested in having me read their blog, I'd love an invitation! But, I won't take it personally if I don't get one either. Just wanted to put that out there for everyone. My email is on my blog.
jessie,
DeleteI think you hit the nail on the head here:
"I wonder if by not taking sides, I took a side? Oh, well."
Dead horses and all that.
Like you, I support people's decision and right to privatize. (Also to use the word privatize, which I'm not sure is even a word at all: if it isn't, it should be.)
Given the circumstances of at least part of the group that privatized yesterday I do, however, think that it's right to sever that tie all the way through.
Don't read me if you don't want me to read you, basically...
On a more positive note, have I told you how much I love your blog? I keep meaning to...
Love,
Vanci
Oops, to make myself clear, if someone wants to "unblog" me, than yeah, obviously we just need to walk our different paths. I meant my offer for an invitation to those people who went private for no other reason than all of the dust ups over the last few months made them feel scared or freaked out or whatever. Like Elena K. Just wanted to say to those people, hey don't forget me in your invite giving!
DeleteBut yeah, if someone just wants to take their ball and go home...well, I'm not down with that.
And the positive note: thanks so much. Warmed my heart a little bit. It's nice to get a feedback like that once and awhile ;).
If I may be so bold, I find it really troubling that CS went ahead and UNFOLLOWED you for (apparently) saying: hey dude, if you feel that you have done nothing wrong then quit defending yourself. I mean that is touchy as hell at best...She unfollowed me too but I expected that.
ReplyDeleteHer reaction implies that by simply responding honestly, you "took sides" or whatever. Which I don't think is what happened. At this point I think we all just want the drama-fest to be OVER and to get back to business.
If we can't speak honestly without being FORCED into one side or the other (which at this point I don't even think there are "sides" so much as "here is my reaction to what happened...") it ushers in the chilling effect all over again!
Oy. I'll repeat my philosophy again so we're all on the same page: read everything for yourself (if you give a shit, which I won't blame you if you simply DON'T!) and decide for yourself. Take action to get to a comfortable place. This never had to become some goddamn civil war - it never had to even go this far!
And rest assured that whatever you think of what happened, if you think it was all really dumb or feel passionately one way or another, WHATEVER you think and feel is YOURS TO THINK AND FEEL. Amen to free agency and independence.
(steps down from soapbox)
Thanks, Vanci, for giving us space to talk freely.
upsi,
DeleteI absolutely agree and get your point about all of us deciding for ourselves what we want to read, who we want to be and how we want to be it.
I knew that there would be repurcussions to my asking CS to take a look at what she was doing (right here! right now!) and to stop defending herself for what she believed was her right action as I truly DO believe that right action doesn't ever need a defense.
I expected that she would unfollow me, and that would have been okay. What concerns me is that she (and two others) all BLOCKED ME from their private blogs, but still STAYED as my followers.
Which I think is creepy and rude.
Don't want to play in my sandbox? Fine.
Don't want to play in my sandbox so you're going to sit over on the swings and stare at me and possibly have a tape recorder and a notepad to document what I'm doing but that you'll never show me or let me listen to?
Creepy.
Amen to free agency and independence, and thank goodness that we either already know or will learn through our process that we have rights to set boundaries and to think for ourselves.
Mi cas es su casa!
Love,
Vanci
I just realized the fact pattern here (a little slow!) that she blocked you from her blog but then still remained following yours. *lightbulbs popping on*
Deleteit's all sooo petty I can barely finish writing this comment. So I'll just say: go in peace. I hope, like I hope for all ACoNs, that she finds peace and healing.
you people are the most unbelievable hypocrites. You run CS into going private with your vicious lies and attacks on her for doing exactly whet your telling everyone here to do today. Just say what they feel and it'sll be fine. You ran her out, becuase she stuck up for Charity a little. You should be ashamed of yourselves. YOur a bunch of saveges, thats probably why she went private. I don't trust any of you. hypocirtes.
DeleteAnd just because I know you'll go ahead and dismiss this, no, this is not CS
Vanci you as much as told her NOT to invite you at the end of this post. What if she was going to invite you?? you told her not to, "homey"
DeleteAnon number one,
DeleteIf I am a hypocrite and a monster, then I would expect that CS and anyone else of better ilk would block me from their blog and stop following mine.
That is what I am asking for. No more, no less.
Love,
Vanci
Anon number two,
DeleteHomey don't play that, or more technically, "homey don't play DAT," is from a Damon Wayans skit on the old sketch show In Living Colour.
I use it here in the sense that I don't want to play games, and I don't want to be a part of something that is exclusionary, though I certainly understand that some other people do. It's just not my box of Lucky Charms is all.
And, although I was talking to THREE people, not just CS, the part of my original post that you're referencing was really in regards to why I'm posting it here rather than, say, sending a private email or message. And I play the 'private conversation, keep it all behind closed doors' game in blogland.
Love,
Vanci
Dear Anon One and Two:
DeleteAre you really trying to enact some form of justice leaving comments about this STALE topic at this stage in the discussion?
If you hate us all so much and don't trust us, get along little doggie. Nobody is forcing you to participate.
And if we're such savages, why subject yourself? Or is it just "too addicting" to put down...
STale topic? Your the one who brought it up in your comments about it being "troubleing" that she went offline and unfollowed! You bring it up over and over, kicking after she's long gone, then someone comments and you call it a STALE TOPIC? Priceless. For all everyone talks about how clearheaded your writing is, I can't follow you at all. It's like you lay pipe then when someone steps in it you say, why are you walking with shit on your shoe?
DeleteIt is your right to absolutely hate me and never again read what I write. Freedom of expression, woot woot!
DeleteWell, I was going to say (as someone who took her blog private 2 months ago for reasons outside ACoN blogging), that to invite people at least on Wordpress, one needs the followers' email addresses (I don't know if that's true of blogger).
DeleteThat said, I think we've got a bunch of fear going on within those who feel "un-sided" with. Does that even make sense? What I mean, though, is that I'm not shocked at the turn of events, but I'd hoped for a different outcome. CS is just, I don't know --- I'm going to dare say disappointing. And she's taking people with her.
But Vanci, you are a light shining, as are many of the other ACoNs that I follow. You own your voice, don't compel or persuade other than by being true to yourself in all your glorious flaws.
I hope I don't sound like a jackass with all I just wrote. But it wouldn't be the first time. ;)
vi,
DeleteFirst, you don't sound like a jackass, you sound like an instropective and thoughtful rock star chic. :)
I have NO quarrel with people with private blogs. I have NO quarrel with people with different opinions from me. Honestly? I'm highly suspicious of any ACoN who claims to want to tell other people what they should think, feel, do or believe. Didn't we all have a Narc in our life who did JUST THAT to us? And punish us with silence? Or try to form an army of believers, minions and flying monkeys to attack?
*I AM NOT SAYING THAT ANYONE IN THE BLOGOSPHERE ANYWHERE, WHO CLAIMS TO BE AN ACON OR NOT IS IN FACT A NARC.
I am saying that I don't understand that way of thinking (I'm right no matter what and you are wrong) and I distrust it.
So I'm glad that we have so many different voices, choices and opinions here, including yours.
Love,
Vanci
Well, Caliban's Sister unequivocally un-followed my blog, so I guess that's clear and fair, and asking for an invitation would be moot.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone else whose blog is now private wouldn't mind me following, you can invite me. My email is on my blog too.
I think it's funny that neutral is now a side, lol. I'm staying neutrally over here on *my* side.
ReplyDeleteQ's Sis
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DeleteWe are a side! We are...
The TAUPE of political colors!
The EGGSHELL WHITE PAINTED WALLS of platforms!
We are...
Flavored just like VANILLA!
We are... the UNOPINIATED voice!
Whatever will our flag be, Q's Sis?
Love,
Vanci
If you are neutral and refuse to take a side, apparently that defaults you into "against" her?
DeleteOy!!!
If you refuse to accept her precisely, explicitly and openly exactly on her terms, you're against her, apparently.
DeleteI could be wrong, but at this point, I'd need to be PROVEN wrong.
Okay, anybody else read The Hunger Games?
DeleteHmm?
Hmm?
Love,
Vanci
you are all just pulling shit out of your ass at this point. She's not here anymore to defend herself and even if she tried to you'd just say "well if she was telling the truth she woudn't have to."
DeleteIf we're such hypocrites and vicious liars, why even comment if not to CONTINUE THIS STUPID FIGHT?????
DeleteYou guys are the ones who won't let it drop!! She wrote something about her mother and you made it all about one of you. Priceless. She's moved on alrea;dy and you can't stop kicking her around. I loved her blog. I can't get onto it now. You ran her out.
DeleteHer email address is: calibans.sister@yahoo.com
DeleteI'm sure she'll give you an invitation.
Hi anon! Glad you're here! Actually, that's not what I would say to CS, but one of the many points of this post is that 'she' IS still here as 'she' along with two other people following this blog blocked me from theirs and are still following mine (except that Elena now stopped following me and unblocked her access) so 'she is here if she chooses to be. As to shit and my ass, I tend to let gravity take care of what falls out, and if I am required to participate at all, I always push, never pull. Love, Vanci
ReplyDeleteThe lesson I'm learning is: say ONE critical thing about CS and you're in for a world of shit. And it will not stop. And if you try to talk it out, it will get worse. And if you try to close the issue up, it will keep opening and sprawling into endless drama.
ReplyDelete"I don't have a user name, and i'm too scared to set one up because you are vicious bullies."
DeleteThat's Trisha. You don't have any loyalty to Cali. You just like to keep the ball up in the air.
I'm sure you can set up a user name to log-in and privately read her blog. I gave you her email address above.
DeleteGood luck.
Anon said: "Just say what they feel and it'll be fine." It appears talking openly means, on one end, talking openly, asking questions, wondering, analyzing, expressing what one feels; and on the other end, demanding to be fully and completely vindicated for ever and ever and accepted as the sole perfect voice of reason without any dissent - any questioning, wondering, analysis, negative feelings lead straight to adamant unwavering vindications or complete silence.
Deleteanon,
DeleteI'm sorry that you feel that you've lost a resource, though I respectfully disagree the amorphous we and you people that you're referring to are responsible for that. I would echo what upsi said, though: you can set up a generic user name and send an email to CS asking for admission to her blog.
I'm sure she'll understand and invite you.
Love,
Vanci
Anon, you're talking about one post on one blog. The rest of the evil gang of vicious bullies expressed feelings, concerns, asked questions and wondered.
DeletePerception is an interesting thing. It helps me personally to read through things several times to get a more balanced view of something.
Trisha. There'ya go sweet talking me again.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wouldn't give to see the fire in your eyes as you hit that anonymous tab.
Q,
ReplyDeleteWhat was that Voltaire quote you posted the other day?
Love,
Vanci
I borrowed it from upsi.
ReplyDeleteTo learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
I've offered solutions to the problems you've presented - email her and ask for an invite.
DeleteIt's been real.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteCharity?
Deleteanon,
DeleteWe are all going to be polite here.
It is 1:47 PM PST.
You have until 1:50 PM PST. At 1:50 PM PST, I will begin deleting insulting comments.
Counting down, now.
Love,
Vanci
Charity is the only person I've ever heard express such vitriolic and inexplicable hatred for upsi. Just because she's there, real, and vital.
ReplyDeleteHey Vanci? When you get a chance, will you please forward me a copy of the comment at 1:37pm calling me Queen Bitch? I'd like to have it for my scrapbook. upsi.dancer@gmail.com.
ReplyDeleteWow that was intense!
upsi,
ReplyDeleteSorry, but as far as I know, those comments are deleted forever.
But you'll always have those fond memories, right?
Love,
Vanci
Damn, I'm having a sense of Deja Vu. Cripes.
ReplyDeleteOK, as I've said before, I don't have a side in this. I don't agree necessarily with anyone or disagree with anyone. I saw lots of things on both sides that made me cringe. But, as adults, I thought they could work it out.
But, I must point out one thing that bugged me. The notion that people were attacking CS for defending Charity is misleading. I also asked for some empathy and compassion for Charity. I also wrote a rather lengthy post about feeling the need to maintain empathy in my reactions (not EXCUSING behaviors but maintain a sense of integrity about how I want to treat others). No one jumped down my throat. No one ran me off. No one ganged up on me. I didn't feel threatened and I didn't feel I needed to hide.
This is probably just rehashing the same shit, but I've kind of had it with the "all she did was defend Charity" shit. I've read, reread, and reread every damn post and thread that related to this. It was amazing to me how much I saw when I'd removed some of my emotional knee jerk reactions to things. Defending someone wasn't all it was about. Just my two cents.
Wow, jessie! You expressed my entire emotional/cognitive process that took weeks and several posts in just one sentence: "It was amazing to me how much I saw when I'd removed some of my emotional knee jerk reactions to things."
DeleteThat's it. Nailed it.
Jessie. Shoot me an e-mail and let me tell you what they said about you after they left the room.
DeleteI.
am.
joking.
oh love of my life.
I am joking.
Just so you know.
jessie,
DeleteThanks for this comment. I can tell you that I feel the same in many ways, and I don't think that I've taken a 'side' other than the side of , "Hey, can we all get back to talking about shit that matters here, please?"
Oh, and the side of Neutral Shades of Taupe with Q's Sis.
I kid because I love. :)
Love,
Vanci
Wow, Jessie. You are so totally right.
DeleteAnd this isn't to imply I think you've chosen a team, lol. Just acknowledging your spot on observation that I hadn't realized before you brought it up.
VR: You're not on my team now? I can have "Team Jessie" shirts made up. Or "Neutral Shades of Taupe"?
DeleteAnd I too, would like to bring back the topic of me and my healing. Just kidding. Sort of. Not to be narcissistic. But seriously, how can I dump a big emotional post about myself in the middle of all of drama. That seemed to me like I would've been implying a "side" too. Maybe. Sort of. Damn Taupe thinking.
Q: I think I'm good with them saying whatever the hell they want to. At least I'm trying to be. And you're funny. I appreciate the levity your bring to this all, my Texas armadillo with a bunny heart.
PA: Isn't it crazy what you see the second time around? For me, and not to bring up the "Charity" word, but I think because I read her post before I saw anything else, I entered the whole thing with a different mindset (like she had implied so much that people would be angry that when I didn't see the sympathy I was expecting-not that there wasn't any-my mind knee-jerked.) Plus, there was all of my other shit. If nothing else, rereading things has shown me how much I've grown, even in one month. So there's some good out of all of this: Jessie learned a lot!
Of course I'm on your team, Jessie. I think you're awesome and wish you much happiness and healing :)
DeleteLol about team tshirts in taupe. I was thinking about people showing their true colors through this kerfluffle.
I think it's good to make use of this situation to evaluate our own states of mind. Despite the rancor of the "anons," I've found a lot of great responses in the remaining ACoNs, things I can use or ponder in my journey towards a better me. Silence isn't the answer. Open discourse is almost always a better route to healing.
I thought we got a copy of comments to our email - no biggie! Maybe you have different settings.
ReplyDeleteYes, I will cherish this moment in blogging.
upsi,
DeleteI want you to know that it is with a completely straigh face that I ask you this:
I have settings?
Love,
Vanci
Haha! Yes, I believe there is a setting that says, hey blogger, please send me a notification whenever someone leaves a comment. If you would like tech support on this issue, I will happily provide it.
Deleteupsi,
DeleteThat's a can of worms that you don't want to open, dear. But I will check my email later and if there's something there I will send it to you.
Love,
Vanci
Let's get back to the shit that matters - no biggie baby.
DeleteHoly carp I found it!
DeleteYou should have it now, your highness.
Love,
Vanci
hahahahahah oh man that was pretty hilarious. Queen bitch. I love that fiery little anon. Letting it rip big time.
DeleteWell, I still say the net product of the fallout of all of this will be positive for more than it isn't. I hope.
ReplyDeleteLike I mentioned on someone's blog somewhere recently, I've never been on a "side" except my own. Commonalities in experiencing the same events is normal, but that does not mean people are aligning up against you by having differing opinions.
For all that CS said she could stand her own, she ran off. Not because "we" ran her off but because she could not stand the heat that she fanned the flames. I'm sure she's playing it as making her blog a safe haven. That's her prerogative.
But, for me, it seems too much like my parents trying to keep their dirty little secrets and control the environment. Healing doesn't happen by keeping things in the dark. There's a difference between trying to protect yourself and trying to strangle hold reality.
Damn, I bet I won't get an invite now. :P
Great Vi, just great.
DeleteNow I'm just gonna have to sit here with my finger on the delete button while I wait for an anon to show up and call you names.
And I was gonna wash my hair tonight. ;)
You're right; healing happens in the light.
Love,
Vanci
Heh! Don't hit delete on my behalf. I can handle misguided nastiness. Unless its my mom writing. I doubt my mother has the balls to own up to her vitriol, though. Which is why anons are anons. They can pretend it wasn't them lashing out in a rage.
DeleteDon't ever hold back your opinion, Vanci! I fucking love your style!
ReplyDeleteCan't believe this Charity bullshit is still haunting these blogs and CS is one insecure broad if she can't handle a bit of friendly disagreement.
Hey thanks for hosting us today, Vanci. I wish I could give you some flowers for your countertop! What a gracious host you are.
ReplyDeleteupsi,
DeleteYou betcha. It was nice to see so many people speaking openly, right up until the verbal poo=-flinging began.
I'm glad we're all still here.
But I'm a little peeved that I still have a certain follower. Now that I know I have settings, is there a way to block someone from following?
Still creeping me out.
Love,
Vanci
I think there is a block function on Dashboard -----> Followers. I've never done it but it rings a bell. If I figure it out I will send you the info and we can close this IT ticket.
DeleteHehehehehe. "we can close this IT ticket" <--for some reason that really tickles me funny.
Deletemulderfan,
ReplyDeleteCheck! You got it! (Honestly, I don't know if I could if I tried at this point in my life.) And I dig your style, too, just for the record.
Yep, it's a BS game going on. Sigh.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Love,
Vanci
I'm neutral, declaring my neutrality like Switzerland. However, I do see censorship = control. If someone is censoring me and telling me what to say or write or feel or how to respond or react, then that someone is attempting to control me. I had it for decades with my mother. Only her thoughts and feelings and reactions were allowed, we even had to like the same people she liked, and dislike the ones she disliked, as if we were an extension of her. I am my own person. The end.
ReplyDeleteQ's Sis
Q's Sis,
DeleteWell put, well said.
It does make me think of the fact that I deleted (and therefore censored) anon's comments earlier today. I suppose that I should state my view on comments in my blog somewhere, but as I haven't yet, I will here: I will delete comments that are attacks (attacks, not disagreement, there's a difference) on other people or that include name calling. I was trying to give anon a chance earlier to express him/her self but it just turned into a poo-flinging fest, so I deleted what I felt were the inappropriate comments. (You stupid asshole, Queen bitch, etc.)
I support your Switzerland-ness and your growth away from that all-encompassing grasp of your mother's.
Love,
Vanci
Well. I feel that I would be hypocritical if I said the name-calling thing was bad. But it was. I'm saying this as much to myself as to anyone else: name-calling gets us no where and does nothing to further the point we're trying to make.
DeleteUnfortunately, name calling made me look like more of an asshole, when I really did have some fantastic points to make. I'm not saying I wasn't thinking the insult. But I could have chosen different words that would have made my point clearly and still gotten my message across.
Secondly, this whole debate looks so similar to me. Wonder why? [wink] Sitting back and watching some of these people have at it is a real eye-opener, I think. It's ugly. And many of these people are hiding behind anonymity. But it's truth. And I'd take that over fake shit any day of the week. Least we know what we're dealing with. At this point, I'm just kind of sitting back and watching for a while. When I want to share my super strong convictions and theories, I'll take them over to my own place, so as not to blow this thing up further.
I get you wanting to eliminate childish comments by anons, but I always see them as making themselves look like fools with such histrionics. Leave their asses bare in the wind to be laughed at as they should. ;)
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Vicarious. I'd publish them, even though they are ridiculous and ugly. But it is your place here and I understand the desire to silence some of the sheer nastiness. It is quite "loud."
DeleteYeah I didn't mind them either but it's your home, Vanci!
ReplyDelete<3 Queen Bitch
Hey, I'm offended by this. I want to be a Queen too. Wahhhhhhhhh!!! I'm no damn minion. Pfffffftttttt!!!!!
DeleteI'm too unruly to be someone's subject. Except Joss Whedon. I'm all his.
Lolol you can be Queen Bitch, I'll be take over Q's post as the Evil Lord. Put me wherever you want me, I'll even play Cordelia. Just please never fake it.
DeleteLovely ladies of the Whedon-verse, and Jonsi,
ReplyDelete(Yeah, I'm a fan, too. I said a while back in a business meeting at the round the table intros that my fave movie was Serenity; 10 blank stares and one "ME TOO!")
These are all good points and I will do what I always do- take them into consideration and see what applies as I write up a comment policy. On the whole I'm okay with anything being said that is meant to contibute, but I need to figure out where my line specifically lies.
All I know right now is that I fucking hate shit-mouthed, son of a bitch curse word spewing bastards, the mother fuckers.
Love,
Vanci
*snicker*
DeleteAnother brown coat! Yay! What're the odds?
one of the reasons I love the Whedon-verse is because of how much I learn about friendship from his shows. The Scooby gang, all with unique talents that work together to battle the forces of evil - I mean you had me at Scooby gang.
ReplyDelete